


If You're Calling 'Bout My Heart, It's Still Yours

by wildlilies



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 07:37:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildlilies/pseuds/wildlilies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a year.  A year since she’d ran, a year since she’d left London in the middle of the night to go back to Los Angeles, a year since she’d turned her back on the best relationship of her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You're Calling 'Bout My Heart, It's Still Yours

It had been a year. A year since she’d ran, a year since she’d left London in the middle of the night to go back to Los Angeles, a year since she’d turned her back on the best relationship of her life. He hadn’t been there when she’d left; he’d been off filming somewhere for his movie. It was easier that way – if she’d seen him, she could have been more easily persuaded to stay. She’d left a note, saying she just needed time to think. That was the last he’d heard from her.

When she’d arrived in Los Angeles, she’d changed her number, moved into a new house and cut herself off from him completely. Thankfully, she’d managed to avoid him at press conferences, parties, and awards shows. And for a while, she thought she was doing what was best for the both of them.

But sitting one night on her couch alone nursing a glass of wine, Alex realized that no, this was not what was best. This crushing loneliness she felt all the time was a direct result of the emotion she most hated – fear. She’d been terrified of their future – not because of Matt, God, no. He was perfect in every way. No, she’d been afraid that she’d be the one to bugger it up somehow, by not being enough for him. And in her fear of buggering it up, she’d gone and, well, buggered it up.

She sighed and flipped through the channels on her television, trying to find something mindless to watch to distract her. She took a large gulp of wine and almost choked when she came upon the coverage of another blasted awards show, which happened to be focused on the object of her current thoughts. There he was, smiling at the interviewer and answering questions with his charming personality as always. Alex let out a breath and quickly shut off her television before it caused her to cry. She was so tired of crying, and yet for the past year it felt like that was all that she’d been doing. 

She emptied her glass and reached for her cell phone. Though she’d changed her number so he couldn’t reach her, she still had all of her old pictures and contacts. She scrolled through her picture album until she came across her favorite picture, one that never failed to make her smile. It was of Matt, quite the close up, and his arm was reaching out of the frame and he was in mid-sentence. She remembered the moment she’d snapped it well. He’d been tucking a curl behind her ear and whispering “I love you,” to her between takes. The love in his eyes was so ridiculously obvious that it made her heart hurt to think of how she’d messed it all up. 

God, she wanted to hear his voice. And none of that crap from the television, that wasn’t her Matt. She glanced at her phone again. One call couldn’t hurt, right? Just to listen to his answering machine? No, that was pathetic.

_But maybe that’s what I am now._ She shook her head once and quickly typed in his home number, making sure to block hers. She knew she was safe and that he wouldn’t answer because he was busy answering interview questions. She listened silently, chewing on her thumbnail as she listened to the phone ring three times. And then, she heard his voice.

“Hi, you’ve reached Matt. Let’s see, if it’s Tuesday night, I’m at an awards show! Go watch it! If you’re trying to reach me for an audition, please call my agent instead. And err, if it’s anyone else, just wait for the beep, you know the drill.”

Alex couldn’t help but smile at his custom message. How often did he change it? She was about to hang up when she heard him speak again.

“And P.S., if this is Kingston… I still love you.”

She gasped and scrambled to hang up the phone, throwing it across the couch and staring at it in shock. She pressed a shaking hand to her mouth as she tried to calm herself. How could he still love her after all she’d done? After a whole year of not being in contact? Sure, she was still in love with him, but he’d done nothing wrong. She figured that he’d move on, find a new girlfriend, but apparently in the span of a year he was still in love with her.

The weight of this revelation pressed in on her and she collapsed against the back of the couch sobbing. He still loved her despite all of the pain she’d put him through. It was too much for her to think about; he didn’t deserve it. As she slowly calmed down, she began to question the message. Maybe it was old? Who knew, sometime last year there could have been another awards ceremony on a Tuesday night. The message was old, very old – there was no way he felt the same now. It was just a coincidence that she’d called on a Tuesday that he’d attended an awards show. 

This thought however did nothing to ease the pain she felt, and as she crawled into bed that night, she instead clung to the hope she had that the message was not old, that he did, in fact, still love her.

Three days later, the hope which Alex had gone to sleep feeling had grown. Though she was sure she was going to be disappointed, she couldn’t help but believe that the message was up to date. She once again found herself on the couch alone, drinking a glass of wine. Several glasses in, she felt that she needed to call once more, just to make sure that it was in fact a fluke, that the message had been on his machine for a while now. 

Dialing before she could talk herself out of it, she heard the familiar warmth of his voice once again.

“Hey, you’ve reached Matt. Ah, if it’s Friday night I’m out at the pub with some friends, and first thing Saturday I’m heading out to film on location, and I’ll be gone all weekend. But I’ll call you back on Sunday afternoon when I get home!”

She waited, hoping it would come.

“P.S., if this is Kingston, I still love you.”

She vaguely registered the beep of his answering machine before she realized it was recording. At a loss for what to say, she quickly made a decision. Alex cleared her throat and left only her number in an American accent, sure that he’d recognize her voice otherwise. Then she hung up, and stared at her phone.

So it wasn’t a fluke. He was still in love with her. And she’d never stopped loving him. Maybe, just maybe she hadn’t buggered it all up. It was going to take a lot to get over the whole year they had apart, but maybe they could work it out and go back to the way things were. 

X X X

Late Sunday afternoon, Matt wearily arrived home to collapse on the couch. The filming he’d done this weekend had been mostly stunt work, and as much as he loved running around, he was simply exhausted. Stretching as much as he could so he wouldn’t have to get up, he pressed the button for his answering machine. He closed his eyes and listened to his agent prattle on for a while about a new audition and his mum tell him about her latest vacation with his father. He smiled through that one, but the message that caught his attention was one that was simply an American woman’s voice stating a phone number. He didn’t recognize it, but the area code was one for Los Angeles. He momentarily dared to hope that it was her, but it had been a year with no contact. As much as he wanted to believe differently, he was sure she had moved on in the year since he’d last talked to her. He quickly pushed that thought away and figured it was someone wanting an interview or an audition.

Well, might as well get it over with. He grabbed the phone, listened to the message again, and dialed the number. He tapped absently at his knee and stared at a picture of Alex on his mantle as he waited for someone to pick up. He heard the click of the phone and then silence. Confused, he was about to say something when he heard her voice.

“I – I’m so sorry. I was scared and I ran.”

Matt froze, eyes widening. He quickly leaned forward, gripping the phone tightly. He opened his mouth to reply before she cut him off again.

“I knew I loved you, I knew what we had was amazing, and yet I ignored everything within me telling me to stay and be happy for once. I messed it all up, I know. And you shouldn’t forgive me, but I want you to. It shouldn’t have taken so long for me to realize that I belonged with you the whole time. I just – I wanted to call you to tell you…”

Waiting with bated breath, hardly daring to believe what he was hearing, he listened as her voice wobbled and she took a breath to steady herself.

“Matt, this is Kingston. And I still love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Story title and idea from the song "Austin" by Blake Shelton


End file.
